Just this inner longing... for what?
Edoardo Gastaldi shares his ideas behind the meaning of music creation: “Just this inner longing... for what?”
Music is just this inner longing… for what?
“Why do I write?”
“Do I feel the need, or is it just a way to spend time covering the spare frames of the day?”
“Is it God’s Signal, or is it a luxurious way to spend time on?”
“Music is just this inner longing… for what?”
I think any artist (if not any person), at a certain point in their path stopped and asked himself these questions.
I cannot give a general answer, but I’ll share my very personal idea here.
As far as I can tell, there are just a couple of reasons that describe my meaning of “music creation”.
The illusion of separation
The first big answer that I give any time I ask myself these questions, is linked to the fact that I am constantly afraid of losing the people I love, of disappointing them; I am afraid of never being enough.
The creation of something (Music, in this case) helps me to gather and group ideas, situations, feelings… people. It helps me stop them from the passing of time, and to make them eternal.
In such a way that, if I were to lose them, or if something were to happen to me, they would have a memory… Of me, of us.
They could remember at any time the fact that I loved them, and the way I loved them, listening to the music I wrote. Maybe they would smile.
And the separation, therefore, would only be an illusion.
The possibility of detaching ourselves from people and places exists, but still, something remains in us, it changes and transforms us even after the contexts and situations have ended. Perhaps this silent, latent bond directs our decisions and makes us constantly connected to other human beings.
This concept was inspired by a beautiful conversation I had one day, with a colleague named Oleg.
With this in mind, even though we may sometimes feel abandoned, empty, or distant from someone, Walt Whitman recalls: “Nothing is ever truly lost. No birth, form, identity – no object of the world. No life, no force, no visible thing.”
The constant urge to create
So, I come to the second (and last) reason that explains my view of music and gives meaning to all I create: the awareness of impermanence.
“Mono no Aware”, the awareness of the transience of things, that therefore gives us the possibility of appreciating, even more, every moment.
The first and last cause of my music is awareness - the fact that things end. Impermanence is imprinted in every object, and it flows… In every moment, in every smile, in every story. The transience of things is with us and within us.
My idea of music here stands in stark contrast to this awareness. In all the chaos, the grey, and the ephemeral, I look for glances, lives, colors, values, places, bonds... To raise and make eternal.
I elevate everyday life and exaggerate gestures, I conceptualize in a suspended and infinite time those truths that I see in people's eyes when they look at me, not knowing I would create infinite out of that single moment. If I had to miss worldly things, I’d thought of you, I’d thought of this.
Once, someone asked me the following question: “What are your musical strengths?”. I suppose the constant urge to create ever deeper and more meaningful music, which touches both the abyss and the sky, which makes every person I meet the meaning of my life.
At last, I would love to share some of my music own compositions that seek answers to philosophical questions and reflect on critical ideas, such as “Coelum Enim Hoc in Deo Consistit”, written together with the talented composer Fabrizio Brugnera, “Nothing Disappears”, co-produced by my colleague and trusted friend Oleg (Clod Opacity, in art), and much more as “Negative Entropy”, written as a soundtrack for a film-music inspired Record Label in collaboration with Lukasz Czarnecki.
written on June 21st, 2023